Relationships can be tough. At first a new relationship often starts on a positive note. At the beginning of a relationship we are flooded with a feel good hormone that can affect our judgement, often seeing the new love as a person who can do no wrong. I call it the ‘love goggles’. We see our new partner as the perfect human being. We talk about feelings we have when we are with this person are feelings that we have never felt with anyone else. Even though there may be the odd warning bell in your mind or one of your friends or family may point something out that is concerning to them, we forge on with this person in our own mind as being “the one”.
Unfortunately for most of us, the feelings of being in love with someone eventually fades. We take our love goggles off and see the person more clearly, realising they do have faults, perhaps their teeth aren’t as straight as we first remembered and it becomes annoying that their once cute habit of laughing at everything you say becomes incredibly annoying.
Relationship counselling can provide a neutral environment for you to discuss difficult and challenging topics. A psychologist’s job in relationship counselling is to provide a safe environment where you can discuss issues constructively. A psychologist can offer you insight into your relationship and guidance about how to move out of the destructive patterns or habits that may have formed. The psychologist’s role is also to educate you about what they witness happening in your relationship.
Relationship counselling is best tailored to suit the needs of your particular relationship as every couple is different. The sooner you engage in relationship counselling, often the better. Sometimes couples come to counselling and it is the last stop for them before they separate or divorce. Prevention of problems developing in your relationship is far more effective than trying to repair the damage once you have been hurtful to each other for years and years. Coming to counselling early on in your relationship can be a very wise move and potentially save you from a lot of heartache.